Hair, a woman’s crowning glory, even more scrutinized on her wedding day.
How are you going to do your hair? This is maybe the third question to the bride, after where is your wedding and what does your dress look like. Do I want my hair up? Do I want my hair down? Then there is the bridal head piece; that too will determine the hairstyle. I spent time with Alex at Bride’s Head, trying on gorgeous after gorgeous head piece, visualizing the look I wanted. I went online and scrutinized all the suggested bridal hairstyles. Originally I wanted hair up, but BITB, I switched to hair down. I want to keep things simple and do my own hair. The solution - the perm idea. I thought a perm will give me the natural, wavy look I want without too much work on the day of the wedding, but I had a disaster perm experience to work through.
Perms were all the rage when I was in middle school - I desperately wanted one. So at 13 I got a home perm and the results were awful. It was puffy and unmanageable and just yuck. It took over a year to grow out and I vowed never to do that again. It’s taken over 25 years for me to get over it. Luckily, I go to a wonderful salon, Kiwa, and I knew if I was going to go the perm route I would be in good hands with the talented, friendly stylists and staff at Kiwa who helped me with my perm anxieties and talked me through it.
I LOVE IT! I got the digital perm. This perm is gentler on the hair and will last about a month. (These photos are about a week after I got the perm.) I have the loose, natural wave that I want without all the work. I like the look so much wish I had gotten a perm sooner. The other thing I discovered with permed hair is if I want more defined curls with the use of the curling iron, the curl lasts all day. All these things I can do with my hair now is like having totally new hair.
A perm is a whole new hair world of maintenance and product, thus another list to end today’s blog entry:
My Tips on Permed Hair Care
Wash your hair, at a minimum, every other day. The perm makes the hair drier so do not shampoo every day. I find that every two days is the best for me. Sometimes I just wet my hair thoroughly, towel dry, reapply product, and gently dry with the hair dryer or let air dry.
Brush your hair gently with a good brush. I have strong hair and I went at it with my brush as usual, only to find breakage. Now I take care to brush the ends first and make my way up to the roots. I use a boars hair brush that I’ve had for years. I also use a wide tooth comb in the shower, after the conditioner, to get the tangles out.
Moisturize your hair. I use two products: Shiseido Crystalizing Aquafix and Kerastase Serum Nuit. I got the Shiseido from Kiwa. I was originally using this when my hair was straight; it took the frizz out from blow drying and gave my hair a smooth finish. I tried it with my permed hair; it took the edge off the dryness and left my hair soft and wavy. I also let my hair air dry naturally with the Shiseido product, so that might have made a difference. A friend gave me the Kerastase and it’s fantastic! I use it once a week and my hair feels light, richly soft and full of body.
And when I want to kick the curl up, I use Deva Curl Set Up & Above. It holds the curl without the heavy product feeling and it has a fresh scent.
Ah, the period film and it’s iconic images of a time long gone - tasks such as letter writing convey romantic pictures of quill pens scratching on parchment, the fine cursive writing, the sealing of the letter by the act of melting wax on paper and the final stamp of the signet ring with the family seal or monogram - it all seems tailor-made for today’s modern wedding invitations.
It seemed like a wonderful idea - why not using sealing wax on our wedding invitations? How hard can this be? It’s not like you need directions. All you need is the sealing wax, matches and the signet - in this case we chose the letter D for our first names. Wisely, I decided to practice on a sample invite before going for the real thing. Refer to the numbers in the photo for the real life, slightly enhanced for effect, description.
1. Why is this wax melting so damn slowly?! Where did all those black flecks come from? Crap, the letter D is reverse! Crap, crap, the flame keeps going out!
2. Okay, a little better, still those black flecks though.
3. I can’t get the whole letter D to show on the wax! This is seriously ticking me off.
4. Maybe if I hold the flame closer to the wax, the wax itself will melt faster. Oops, the wax stick is on fire . . . mmmm . . . maybe that’s okay, as long as it keeps melting . . . OHMYGOD, the paper is on fire! (Frantic blowing and yet I still still stamp the wax.) Time to reassess. I call my honey, “I don’t know if this sealing wax is such a good idea.” ”Wait until I get home and we can do it together.” ”I don’t know. I think I’m going to go to the store and look at stickers. Maybe we can just use stickers with out initials on it.” ”Wait until I get home.” “Honey, I’ve trying and the paper caught on fire!”
5, 6, 7 and 8 - Undaunted, after a snack, I try again. I’m improving but I’m not satisfied with the results. The sealing wax melts too slowly and starts to harden before I get enough on the paper to imprint with the D-seal. Plus, the black flecks are so unsightly. Is this what it was really like in the past? Did Jane Austen have to struggle with this fiasco called sealing wax? People must have been so thankful when the modern sealing envelope was invented, because this is ridiculous!
So it’s back to the store for me to look at stickers. The choices are limited - initials in silver or gold paper or cheesy wedding images like wedding bells, champagne glasses or doves. And then I discover the sealing wax gun! Aha! Works just like a regular glue gun, you use colored sealing wax sticks, and there are directions. Of course now I have a tool I’ll probably have no use for after this wedding and enough sealing wax sticks for the rest of the year (maybe I’ll seal my rent checks and credit card payments?) but it’s better than fire.
There are some lessons learned here and a hysterical story to share with friends.
My Wedding Invitations / Sealing Wax Tips
Definitely practice first! Because you need to see how much wax you need for your seal and you need to practice stopping the flow of the wax with flourish - not a messy lump.
Buy extra sealing wax sticks. We only had about 50 invites to send but I’m glad I bought the whole box because I wanted to practice, and I didn’t want to run out of sticks in the middle of the assembly. You go through the sticks pretty quickly.
Cool down the seal in the refrigerator/freezer and periodically put it back in to keep it cool. This was actually suggested in the directions but it recommended a cup of cold water. That just didn’t seem like a good idea to have water around paper goods - accident waiting to happen. It’s easier to just pop the seal in the fridge. The cold seems to help facilitate an easier, clearer stamped image and hastens the cooling of the hot wax.
Warm up the sealing wax gun for at least 5 minutes before you begin. Especially if you stop and begin again later, otherwise you initially squeeze out semi-melted wax that won’t really take the stamp and you will have wasted an invite.
Stand the sealing wax gun on waxed paper or scrap paper between stamping. It’s a low temperature glue gun so the wax doesn’t melt very quickly, but it will still drip on your surface, so protect your work table.
Tomorrow I have my first fitting for my wedding dress.
Wedding dress shopping must be in the top five of stressful wedding tasks. I’m of the mind of not spending an exorbitant amount on something I’m going to wear for one day. I researched and groused and talked to everyone. Out of the ready-to-wear bridal gowns, J.Crew has a great selection and they have an accommodating price range. I pretty much thought I would go there, but I kept putting off the task - then I remembered Kimera (cue dark clouds separating, sun rays pour out, heavenly music begins).
Kimera is on boutique-lined Atlantic Avenue in the Boerum Hill section. I have popped in and out of the store, admiring but never buying. One girlfriend I knew had a dress made there (not for a wedding) a number of years ago and was very pleased with the design. I want to think I put off buying a dress because Kimera was lurking in the recesses of my mind, waiting to reveal itself at the right moment. I called, worried I had waited too long, and was able to see Yvonne, the owner and designer, the following weekend.
My experience with Yvonne was very positive and I’m very happy with my choice. She’s professional and easy to work with. I lucked out because the first dress I tried was THE ONE. (I’m laughing as I write that out!) I did try on others but I knew the first one looked great on me. The one thing I changed was a v-neck for the back, as well as the front. It fit my body type, looked elegant, and I’m going to change things up by switching sashes from long for the ceremony to a shorter obi sash for the reception. The long sash will be the gold and silver fabric and the short sash will be indigo - solid on one side and patterned on the other. And, afterwards, I’m going to shorten the hem so I can wear the dress again! I wrote a check for the deposit on my first wedding dress shopping venture. Hey, you know when you know.
Downstairs at Kimera is Iris Lingerie. Iris is extremely knowledgeable about lingerie, friendly and professional too. She and her assistant helped me with the correct undergarment to wear with my wedding dress. I also asked to be professionally bra fitted. I’ve been wanting to do that ever since Oprah’s show, The Bra Revolution. Let me tell you, I am a reformed woman! It changes everything. Besides looking “perkier”, I feel like I’m standing straighter and my waist looks trim. I only bought my wedding bra and one t-shirt bra, but it was hard because Iris carries many lines of beautiful lingerie. To think of all those years, putting up with the wrong bra and the troubles that come with wearing the wrong bra.
Alex and I were at La Casita last week when she asked me if I was going to crochet hearts for the wedding. I laughed hysterically. I mean really, I’m going to crochet all those hearts for the wedding?!!? I love all my DIY wedding ideas, and it’s so easy to get carried away but then I saw this tiny crochet heart pattern on Whip Up. I changed my mind BITB*. I’ll make some to see if I like it or not.
Now the funny thing about getting married is everyone’s opinions. (First, I hope I was never annoying to any of my friends or family when they got married, if so, I apologize, and you can now know it’s coming back to bite me.) Folks, remember, my wedding is not your wedding. When you get married, you can do whatever you want - be it lavish or simple or eccentric or traditional - but only when it’s your wedding. I’ll repeat, it’s MY wedding, NOT your wedding. (Oooh, it’s good to vent!) It’s amazing how people are down right shocked at the choices I’ve made - as if weddings come in one flavor. It’s not just the big choices people will judge, even the little decisions people feel they must voice their opinion. When I tell you about my wedding, it’s too share and rejoice in, not for your personal critique. I know, I know, it’s all human nature, but it still feels good to vent.
Back to knitting . . . . I heart La Casita! My Friday Night Knitting Club hung out there 2 weeks ago and we had a grand time. It had been a while since we all saw each other so there was a lot of catching up. Maria joined 10 shawls in 2010 on Ravelry and she finished the Zephyr Capelet that night. We all admired Alex’s Noro Mittens; she’s almost done with the second mitt. Jocelyn was working on clogs to be felted. I don’t remember what Elizabeth was making, but the cashmere yarn she bought was luscious. Aislinn was trying out a lace pattern. I’m working on the Debbie Bliss Cashmere Baby Blanket for my nephew who will show up in about 15 days - give or take a couple of weeks since he’s the first baby. I’ve knit about 12 inches of rows and rows of garter stitch. I’m eyeing some Noro at La Casita; I want to make mittens like Alex too. It’s only $20 for the skein. I want to buy it, but I’m trying to keep purchases only wedding related.
